Today March 31st. was the begenning of the end of the radiation and chemo. Four more days left. I had my radiation treament today. Since Dr. Garces was busy the resident saw me. There has been quite an increase in 'thrush infection' (in the mouth) with inflammation which has made eating & drinking that much more difficult leading to wt. loss & drop in bloodpressure. I felt much better after I received two litres of fluids.
Counting down is kind of fun, almost feels like things are coming closer, like a mirage & then moving away at the last moment.
(Sachi has left this blog at this point and fallen asleep, so I will continue).
Our weekend was a Khatta-Meetha (sweet & sour) experience. The sweet part was the time we spent visiting with our families; Khatta was watching Sachi get so tired and dehydrated that we had to cut our planned activities short. He went to bed looking extremely exhausted and for the first time scared me somewhat. Having supportive families around made the crisis only a bump in the road rather than a road block. Next day we all met again, closer than before and more determined to keep holding hands through difficult times. Everyone left on Sunday and we spent a quiet rest of the day. Thanks to Veerji & Gurjeet, Mama, Ashok & Ayush and Suraj & Torrey for their company and for caring enough to come so far to see us.
Sachi, inspite of what he has written, still looks quite sick. Maybe he will get some more fluids tomorrow. In this sixth week of treatment things are painful and difficult. The medication and dehydration are making him drowsy. He falls asleep in the middle of conversation. Tomorrow we see Dr. Garces and discuss the need (or not) for the feeding tube. We will also find out how often and when we need to come back for further check-ups. The first appointment in the morning is at 8:00 AM so I better go to bed too. Till next time then,
Good night. . . . . . . . . Ambi
13 comments:
It is only when you are shrouded in darkness that you realize and appreciate the value of light. When gloom and despondency drop an impenetrable veil before your eyes preventing you from drinking in the glory of hope, when the trying times of life challenge the life-infusing power of endurance, when the other side of midnight does not conclude in the diffusion of desperation and the brilliance of the rising sun.....Life becomes a burden too heavy for any mortal shoulders to carry. But when those shoulders are filled with the overwhelming strength of spiritual vigor, when the spirit of surrender to His will generates a power that finds expression in serene acceptance of unfolding events, when the will to survive is so indomitable as to defy the limits of human tolerance.....the distance between night and day dissolves into only a dimension of time, like rivers disappearing into the ocean; suffering and endurance mingle to create only an experience of life that has to be traversed without option or complaint; the elevation from defeat to victory becomes an uninterrupted transformation resulting from the universal acceptance of “His Will” and formidable strength to carry it out......
As both of you pack your bags and prepare to leave Rochester and head towards the security of your abode in Lincoln, record the memories created here in golden letters, treasure the moments of despair and hope experienced in the halls of Mayo, imprint on the slate of your heart the droplets of wisdom and faith earned during your united journey through the light of life and dread of the other side........ For, if the city of Rochester has frozen your body and spirit with its subzero temperatures, it has also been the stage that witnessed the warm reunion of family and friends....if the clinics of Mayo have subjected you through forgettable experiences of pain and weakness, the Doctors there have also breathed life into your ailing system through their divine acts of care and kindness.....if the walls of the Hotel have bounced back the misery of cold and lonely times, they also hold in their bosom, tender moments of love and affection spent amidst dear ones from far and near....
Remember always: When the arrows of adversity push you down to your knees, you are in a perfect position to PRAY....
Pranams
Babi
Dearest Sati Mamu & Ambi Main,
Pranam.Sati Mamu..U bet this is the "beginning of the end"..like u we all are also doing a daily countdown..We all are praying hard to God that your balance 4days of treatment also go by smoothly and uneventfully..so u just hang in there a lil while longer..We both hope and pray to God that your appointment with Dr.Garces this morning goes well and as hoped for..and that you can avoid the feeding tube in these last 4days too and are able to manage to keep up your body weight to the required levels with your daily intake of half boiled eggs and fluids..U keep up your ever so positive thought process,spirit and faith in your self and The Lord and these 4days will also pass by smoothly before u realize.
Ambi Main..We were glad to know that you had supportive family around you over the weekend to help you get through the crisis making it feel like a bump rather than a road block..just 4 more days to go and then all this will be part of history.. so remain strong, positive and cheerful as always and look ahead to the good times and good life back in Lincoln with the kids..We are all praying for Sati Mamu's full and speedy recovery..with his strength, courage, positive thinking and spirit and most importantly his faith in self and The Lord will put him back on his feet..up and running in no time.
Pranam & Prayers,
Love always,
Leema & Achintya.
Dearest Sanabhai&Nuabou,
With a mixed feeling but positive thought we read your "Khatta-Meetha" informative note.Our hearts and prayers are fully with you.We are sure you will pass through the last 4days of the treatment with brave determination&strength of body and mind.
"In God`s strength you conquer life.You conquering power is the grace of God.There can be no complete failure with God.Do you want to make the best of life?Then live as near as possible to God,the Master and Giver of all life.Your reward for depending on God`s strength will be sure.Sometimes the reward will be renewed power to face life,sometimes wrong thinking overcome,sometimes people brought to a new way of living.Whatever success comes will not be all your doing,but largely the working out of the grace of God."..Sept.9-A.A.Meditation of the Day-
With lots of love,goodwishes and prayers for your speedy recovery
May God be wth you ALWAYS.
Nandini&Swarup
Dear Sati Bhai,
When I heard the shocking news, I remembered something I had read in a book - that there is nothing like " You can't keep a good man down," as far as diseases go. I would add that good men would face and overcome the odds better than others. We pray God to give you the will and the strength to do so. Seema and our two sons , Rajat and Siddhant join me in praying for your speedy recovery.
Babuli( Sanjay Patra)
Good morning, it is hard to hear of the physical pain you are going through Sachi and all the worry for your family and loved ones. It makes one feel so helpless to just sit by and wait. Please continue to remember all the love and support you have of so many other people at this time. Please continue to hope, the end of the tunnel of treatment is near; continue to accept this miserable illness as you have so well exemplified and taught us all about acceptance; lastly continue to place your trust in God. Stay strong. Thoughts and prayers always. Janelle
My pranam to Sana bhai & Nuabou. Dear brother mine, you are the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood. This is the first-degree blood relation that exists between the parents and children (siblings) of a nuclear family. This affects us psychologically, emotionally and even physically.
I had not realised this until I heard about your encounter with that man in Delhi who tried to hit you on the head with an iron rod from behind .For a month I just could not get it out of my head. Every now and then, suddenly the thought would occur to me what would have happened if you had not turned around at that moment, and I would shudder in sheer fright. When I asked Bou about it she said this is quite natural among the brothers and sisters of a family, however much they may argue and fight among themselves.
In this instant when you told me about your disease, I couldn’t get it out of my head that it had happened to me. I felt like one of my limbs was paralysed . However Sanabhai, the way you have dealt with it and accepted it and gone through the treatment so far, I cannot but admit that you are the GREATEST
I am not proud of you. I am proud of myself that God has chosen me to be a member of your family. Till now I had not heard of any patient taking radiation and chemotherapy together. Each of them is so painful that to have them separately is in itself a big challenge. But to the Tarzan of our family (The strongest, physically, mentally & now spiritually) nothing is impossible. We are all watching in awe and disbelief. It is quite evident that your faith and self-surrender at the lotus feet of God is so complete that He has no choice but to carry you in your period of greatest distress. Some times God gives us a bad habit to later turn it into a blessing and use it to draw us to Him. This has happened to you in the form of A.A. Because you found God a little later than the rest of us you have made up for lost time and progressed beyond all of us. God does this very often to show us that everything depends on His will and no one may feel superior or inferior to anyone else.
Your blog has been so informative, expressive and beautiful that I must say that Nuabou has given us a strong shoulder to cry on and feel consoled by putting in our feelings. As I am quite dumb in expressing myself I have taken the longest time to contribute my two bits worth.
Sanabhai, this last week of your treatment will go by as smoothly as the rest of it, and I am sure you will come out of it with flying colors and completely cured. Keep eating more eggs and taking frequent I.V.fluids so that you will end the treatment in the best of health and spirits.
Your soreness of the mouth will persist for some time but before you know it, it will be gone and each day your appetite will increase and lo and behold one fine day you will have gained more weight than you have lost. Your whole treatment was a miracle of God and in His immeasurable mercy and compassion He will lead His great devotee from darkness unto light, form pain unto pleasure and from restlessness unto peace and tranquility.
Sanabhai,you know the Indian blessing " Meri umar tujhe lag jaaye". We pray to the Almighty God Who can even hear and respond to the ring of the bell tied to the leg of an ant, to make the strong, deep and long life-line on your palm come true.
Bou, even in her innocence is praying for you and sending money to the Ramakrishna math for bhoga on a daily basis. All the pictures in your blog are beautiful, especially those of your children and your marriage (suhag raat). Even with a little less weight you look so handsome and slim & trim standing on the steps of the Mayo clinic like a Hollywood film star in his hay-day. So you see even in the dark cloud of your life God has put so many silver linings that your attention is diverted and you forget to feel bad about yourself. As you yourself said, you have not lost a single night's sleep over your condition although whoever hears of it is grief stricken.
Enough for now. Just because this is my first comment I cannot go on and on. Accept our pranam to you and Nuabou & our love for the children.
Sudha & Subu.
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”
A few bumps here and there are part of the journey. Like everything else we are sure you'll overcome these too.
So now it's 3,2,1 and zoom off to Lincoln.
Like always,keep your spirits high and your attitude positive.
We love you and pray for relief to your body and peace to your mind.
Seema & Sandeep
After reading Sudhabhai's maiden debut comments, it is only appropriate that I hold my silence for the day, save my humble salute to his heartfelt contribution. Every word is so deeply immersed in love, every feeling so intensely expressed, every memory so vividly carved, that in silent admiration and moist eyes I am rendered totally speechless....When the heart speaks, words are not necessary to adorn the flow of emotions though we resort to their use for want of a better medium....
A tender touch, a warm gesture, a loving look, a kind act.....though non-verbal, these are some of the most expressive ways of communicating our feelings. But when we are separated by thousands of miles, the only tool available is the lifeless alphabet....Once, however, they are combined in different ways to make fitting words, the meaning they convey is so real that they acquire a strength mightier than the sword !
I offer my prayers with all others to the all pervading Lord to cradle our dearest one in His divine arms and carry him across the remaining days of treatment to a life of renewed faith.
Pranams & Prayers
Babi
Dear didi & jijaji,
We all are waiting and hoping with you for these last three days to be over soon. But as it is known that - Haathi te pher vi nikal hi janda hai, poonch hi bada tang kardi hai. Unable to do anything concrete from so far, we are constantly keeping you in our thoughts and sending cool,soothing wishes.
At home life is slowly creeping back to its daily routine. On the 17th day mummy and I went to Gurudwara, which was nice. I am trying that mummy-daddy and I visit Chandigarh for a few days around 14th April.
With lots of love and holding,
Bablee
pranams!
and of course, "yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
so did you sleep through the movie? i called you back last night... i was up til the wee hours trying to get some work figured out. will call you again today. bododa sounds much better today. i'm glad he's getting the fluids. please keep us posted so we can channel positive vibrations accordingly. i'll split them up between the stomach and the throat :)
lots of love,
vivek
Ambi and Sachi,
George P. told me about your blog so I thought I'd say "hello" and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are truly blessed with great family and friends. Take care and take it one day at a time ...
Joani
My dear Sachi and Ambi,
During the most difficult period of his life, Guru Teg Bahader penned certain thoughts which have become a source of great
consolation to millions in their hour of trial. I can do no better than quote some of these as under.
"Chinta ta ki keejiye jo unhoni hoey - Eh marg sansar ko Nanak thir nahi koay"
Do worry about a mishap if it has never happened before (to someone else). Says Nanak, there is nothing in this world of the nature of permanence.
"Jatan bahut sukh ke kiyae dukh ko kiyo na koey - Kaho Nanak sun re mana Har bhavey so hoey"
We always run in pursuit of pleasure forgetting that pain is the price we pay for it. Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin which providence has written in our genes, says Nanak.
And then lest we may think that we are subjected to a cruel bondage without a sign of releif, says Guru
"Sukh dukh jeh pursey nahi lobh moh abhimaan - Kaho Nanak sun re mana so murat Bhagwan"
One who treats pain and pleasure one and the same and frees oneself
from greed,love and ego which are the source of these opposite twins
then one can become godlike as God alone is free of these worldly attachments.
Daddy
It's great news o her you are so close now to that "mirage." I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you to get back to Lincoln soon. You've learned an incredible amount through all this. I'm certain it will serve you well with your recovery, and for your whole family's future.
Looking forward to seeing you soon!
~Chris
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