Nature is slowly waking up here. The trees are laden with leaf buds, flowers have started their show and the sun lingers a little bit longer everyday. Normally at this time Sachi would be inside the walls of the hospital practising the art and science of modern medicine and would miss out the magic of our garden; Leaving the house before sunrise and hardly ever coming home before twilight. This year, however, having imbibed the benefits of cyber medicine we are trying our hand at another kind of healing now.
Sunday afternoon we strolled out in our backyard. Sachi checked out the the fruit trees, the daffodils, forsythia in full bloom (top left) and then sat basking in the late evening sun by the side of our 'not-yet-open' pool. Within a month the pool will be full of Suraj, Ravi and their friends. It is quite a scene complete with lemonade, watermelon and skimpily dressed kids. Sachi and I have come a long way in our journey from India to America. The first summer in USA I used to keep all the curtains of our condominium closed to save Jyoti from the corrupting influence of women and girls in swimming attire on their way to the club pool. Now the boys bring those girls home to our pool.
The middle picture above is Paul helping me plant the roses. The right one is the newly planted apple tree (twigs according to Suraj). It should bloom and bear a few fruits this year. When we came in from our meandering Sachi sat on the sofa, surprised at the exhaustion. A long nap followed. Later we watched 'The Pretty Woman' on TV. Last time we saw it, Ravi was not yet a year old and Suraj was just learning about race cars. We miss finding those matchbox cars all over the house in the most unlikliest of places. I do not know how we would have weathered this storm without our kids to ground us. On the flip side of this, we are acutely cognisant of the secure and happy childhood that gave us confidence in our adult lives, a quality we cashed in big time during this crisis. Thankyou Baba, Bou, Biji and Papa Ji.
We are really enjoying the free time afforded us to smell the roses.
Happy Spring. . . . . . Ambi
10 comments:
Dear Sana bhai and Nuabou ,
Pranam. At long last the night sky has turned crimson. That means the bright sun with all its glory is right below the horizon. That sun is none other than my Tarzan. He never lost his brilliance or his warmth. Only the darkness of the night (cancer) had cast a long shadow on him.
However he has turned the corner. The shadow has disappeared and the bright light of Divinity is on him. He is on the glorious path to health, strength and happiness. As his weight increases his pain will recede. As his energy increases his drowsiness will wear off. And by and by his original self will emerge free of pain, weakness and inertia. He is the embodiment of cheerfulness, liveliness, love, tenderness and immense faith in God
God has made him a ship to ferry many an unfortunate soul across this ocean of worldliness. He has no time to repair himself. That minor detail will be taken care of by lesser mortals.
When he comes out of his den there will be many who will wonder at his courage, perseverance and will to live. There are many people who have beaten cancers far more aggressive than my brother’s with the sheer power of the will to live and faith in God. Their stories come out in magazines like the Reader’s Digest.
Sana bhai dear, you have become the role model for all your brothers and sisters and many others in India and USA. When you come to visit us in all your pristine glory many will say “this is also possible in the land of GOD." For it is no myth that faith can move mountains and change the course of mighty rivers. GOD has chosen you to show us the way that leads to Him and we are very fortunate to be your closest relatives.
Nuabou has mentioned that you smiled (after a long time) This is the tip of the iceberg. This small gesture transformed her knowledge of your recovery to an assurance. But I say to all who may read this comment, the day will come when you will show us all how to smile in the face of adversity and serenely accept the Will of GOD at the depth of our despair.
Like Babi has said “ You have walked through fire and life hereon shall adorn a new meaning.You,who have had a glimpse of the“other side” shall not waste time in the meaningless pursuits of lesser mortals .A journey that begins at the end, goes on in harmony with the Will of GOD ;where every moment holds a promise of eternity; where love is all embracing and service is all giving.”
Sana bhai GOD has taken the strongest and the bravest of the siblings and put him through the hardest of tests known to man. You may be fighting the battle alone but you are fighting for all of us. Your success will proclaim to the world your faith and surrender at His Lotus Feet combined with all our devotion and love for HIM. However it may be, we are not able to share your physical pain and suffering. But we all are ready to trade our happiness and peace of mind for a few hours of relief from pain for you. God will take notice of it and have mercy on you.
Now your path to recovery has started with a smile and a few pounds of weight gain. Do not take it lightly. From now on your progress, however slow it may be, will be full of pleasant surprises and unexpected events. When you have turned from darkness unto light the rest of the journey will be in light, i.e. in fulfillment and success. Each day will bring new victories and less pain.When your mouth heals the PEG tube will be out. Thus in a short time my Tarzan will be back in his original frame and a much advanced state of mind and spirituality.
Till then we will be waiting and watching. Our love, prayers and good wishes are always with you. Pranam.
Subu and Sudha.
Dear Sati Bhai and Nuabou,
Many times I think of writing but then I see everyone else (mainly Babi Bhai!) has put my thoughts into words , that too so beautifully :-)
Daddy always keeps asking me to call and talk to you - his thoughts are constantly with you and Ma reads the blog daily as well. I have refrained from calling as I know it will put a strain on your throat.
But it is amazing to see and feel the positive energy emerging from you even after speaking for 5 minutes. You are both pillars of strength and determination. With strong faith in God and the will to overcome all obstacles, you will definitely look back one day and be proud of yourselves on how you dealt with this bad phase in your life. They say doctors make the worst patients as they know too much, but it seems to me Sati Bhai that you are taking this one day at a time and so patiently as well.
Nuabou, I have seen my own mother and my mother-in-law stand vigil alone, when their husbands suffered and now I see you as well. It is amazing how much strength God has given to a woman to stand by her husband's side. God dealt a another blow to you and your family with your brother's untimely death. Just know that he is at peace and with God now.
Support from family and friends from far and near are balms to the pain. I remember our days in Detroit when we used to meet every weekend - they were such happy carefree times.
We are looking forward to seeing you this summer!
I do not post often, but I check daily and our thoughts and prayers are with you as well.
Take care,
Mama and Shyam
(Baltimore, MD)
The speed at which you post your updates leaves us breathless as we strive to match your pace with our humble offerings...! The following lines were written in response to your previous update.
Nuabou, your opening lines from the Divine Incarnation are so inspiring and full of strength that a mere perusal fills the reader with an invigorating tonic of courage and perseverance.... while the closing verses, like a starlit night, spread a soft bed of moonlight for the weary traveler to rest on....
As the blog breathes afresh with every new update, it is revitalized by the collective contribution of comments from children and siblings, family and friends, transforming it to a meeting place of hymns and hearts, ideas and opinions, complaints and compliments, and above all, of prayers and worship....
Emotions have found catharsis.....intellect has found expression....suffering has found support....and pain has found peace.... Just words, so simple and straight and yet how tremendously impactful and soothingly emollient....
The chronology of this Blog, from the initial shock of discovery to the God-sent relief of recovery, does not narrate a make-believe story of events and accidents, neither does it relate the colorful experiences of people who converged at Rochester, and is least of all an adventure.....for, Cancer is not an adventure for him who stands face to face with it.... The collections on this Site shall only attempt to tell the story of one man's journey through the stark reality of disease and suffering, who, even though he has escaped its deadly attack by Divine grace, has been bruised and battered in the long and painful battle against Cancer....it shall bear witness to that man's relentless resilience coupled with his Soulmate's consistent companionship in their combined team effort and struggle to emerge from the tunnel, victorious and at peace......
The lessons we have learned from both of you shall always remain engraved on our hearts in letters of gold, inspiring us to strive onwards and upwards....
Pranams & Prayers.
Babi
Sanabhai, your call was a Gift from above.. Every day when I sit down to pen my comments, I think about you and miss your voice....the tone of which infuses in me inspiration beyond measure...the thoughts that motivate me to reach for the skies...the words of wisdom that fill my chest with pride that I belong to a family that boasts pillars of spiritual abundance like you and Badada.
I have been looking up with folded hands in prayer, persuading Him to allow you to talk to us....my heart has been starving for a few moments of bliss on the phone, but my mind has been pulling me back from committing the indiscretion that would subject you to further pain. Impulse prods me to reach for the phone but reason prevents me from yielding to the temptation! Though the Blog has been providing us with ample food for thought and communication, nothing however lives up to the throbbing life in the human voice...the loving tenderness in every word that issues....the unmatched care that bridges the yawning distance between you, my dearest one, and me, your Baby Tarzan!
Ever since the shock of your ailment was thrust upon us, every moment of our waking life has been devoted to thoughts about you and your's....Even while going about the humdrum of our daily chores and answering the incessant calls of mundane duty, our hearts and souls have been in constant attendance on your changing condition and gradual developments. Seeing your photographs is like traversing the agonizing length of time between home, Rochester and home again....Maybe the time has passed but there are still corners to turn and miles to walk before you can resume the full scope of your activities, and we, prostrating at His feet in heartfelt appeal, can finally heave a grateful sigh of relief....
Though in our own peculiar ways we have tried to offer our Self to you and Surrender to Him, unfortunately none of us could share your pain or trauma. We may have shed tears of concern....our foreheads may have collected wrinkles of worry.....we may have spent sleepless nights tossing and turning in anguish, but a single touch of actual pain we could never feel....Maybe because, as they say, Man in the ultimate analysis is alone....
Having waited for an enormous stretch of time to see you in person, I have now decided to fly literally into your arms in a short time from now! Photographs do not satisfy me anymore. My patience is wearing off and I am becoming restless. Counting the days that separate us has become an exercise in impatience. Sanabhai and Nuabou, here I come.....!
Pranams & Prayers
Babi
Dearest Ambi Main,
Pranam.Main..Thanks for the two beautiful and cheerful mails on the weekend happenings and Sati Mamu's recovery and thanks for the beautiful pictures of your garden and ofcourse of "The Lion Outside His Den" in all his splendor and pristine glory.. :)
We both are so happy, relieved and delighted to know that Sati Mamu is gradually recovering and has regained one pound weight..we are now positive and sure that with your tender loving care, all the rest that he is getting at home and with his nutritious tube feeds he will soon regain the balance of his lost weight and be back to his original healthy, fit and strong self in no time.
We are so glad to know that you both are enjoying the Spring to the fullest in the free time afforded to you and are able to smell the roses..something that Sati Mamu wasn't able to do in so many years due to his hectic work schedule.. when God takes something from us he always remembers to give us something in return too..Happy Spring to both of you..enjoy your time together!
Take care and Keep Smiling! :)
Pranam & Prayers,
Love always,
Leema & Achintya.
Sachi,
Now it is like journey down the hill. Getting chemo and radiation was the hard part of journey, like climbing up the hill. Recovery is going to be fast and quick. Weather has also changed from long and boring winter days to nice days of spring. Soon it will be summer and you will be back to work. Knowing you, you are waiting for that day! I don’t think you ever had so much free time on hand. Meanwhile, you should make full use of this free time to enjoy out doors and company of your loving family.
We all at NJ and Mass are wishing for your quick recovery and hoping to see you in NJ soon.
Avtar-Gurjeet
Hi you guys. We got back from Indianapolis yesterday, it was a very nice city. I was pretty proud of myself being with 2 teenage girls and having to do all the car rental, direction finding, etc. We did get badly lost a few times to the point that I told Abbie, "I don't need to follow all these people, I know I can find it on my own" and she says "NO MOM THAT IS A VERY BAD IDEA." Anyway we are now home and it feels great. I love the beautiful pictures of the outdoors. It looks and sounds like you continue to get stronger. Andy is doing a project on Alaska right now, I think we will send your family picture to school as part of his scrap book, however, remember he doesn't speak Spanish (I don't know if you remember that story or not from him about you). As always you are in my thought and prayers, Janelle.
Even though I see you guys regularly I still LOVE reading the blog. It brings such inspiration to me as I follow my daily routine and makes me appreciate the simple things in life. After reading the part about the matchbox cars I can't help ask if you want me to bring some of Teagan's to scatter about the house the next time I come!
Heather
Allow me to share a few lines that formed in my mind during one of my unguarded moments:
Paradise lost and paradise regained,....love and hatred,.........humility and arrogance,......selfish pursuits and selfless acts,.......All frames of mind, names given to attitudes, words coined to define the indescribable and limit the boundless,....associations developed to reflect our reactions to people and predicaments......Yet, how powerful their impact and pregnant their meaning... how deep their penetration and wide their repercussion.....how painful their consequence and remorseful their damage.
As we go through every act, significant or banal, our minds are filled with emotions that divide and words that lacerate. Little do we realize that it is only with a quiet and still mind that we can ever hope to accomplish anything of lasting value....When the mind is one with nature and the soul is manifest with the glow of divinity that lies hidden in the forgotten depths of our being....when the heart opens its doors of love to humanity as a whole without reservation or judgement....when giving is not punctuated by expectation and sacrificing is not driven by hope of selfish harvest....when service is from self and humility is total – it is then and then only that we can hope to rise above our small petty self and reach out for the heavens as a true Spirit adorning His spark....
Love and pranams.
Babi
Wow I'm using my blackberry to ppst a comment so hopefully it works... I can't actually read what I'm typing so I apologize for any typos... I just enjoyed reading this post a lot. Very poetic bodoma! Oh and I keep menaing to remind you guys - www.marchforbabies.org/vivek_mahapatra - its this sunday! I'm really excited. Ok its 3am! Time to goto bed.
Love and pranams!
Vivek
Ps - thought it was real funny when you said now the boys bring the skimpily dressed kidds over! Heheheh
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