"The music in my heart I bore
Long after it was heard no more"
Wordsworth in Solitary Reaper
These flowers and balloons will wither and perish but not the warm wishes and blessings that came with them. Thankyou all. Yesterday was a wonderful day in Lincoln - sunny, clear blue and balmy warm. The kind of day that makes it easy to believe everything will be OK. When kids were little they would run out with their arms outstretched and face lifted to receive the sun and the breeze. I have dozens of pictures, taken over the years, of the three of them picking tulips and lilacs; Suraj and Ravi chasing soap bubbles that Jyoti playfully sent their way. The children are grown now but the feeling is still infectious. Suraj (who happened to be home) and I drove to the Earl May nursery and brought home fruit trees and a few flowers to plant. We called Paul and Andre', Russian muscle men who help us with gardening, and planted two cherry trees, two apple trees and a peach tree. I kept popping inside the house to check up on Sachi and keep him abreast of the activity outside. He initially took a long nap but then I saw him peeking out from behind the windows. Andre', with closed eyes, put a Russian spell on the trees when we first set them in the hole. When asked what were the words of the spell he burst out laughing and said, "Grow tree grow!". By evening our exuberance drew Sachi out. With hands behind his back he chatted with Andre' about the garden. Due to the weight loss his high cheek bones and bony shoulders make him look a lot like Bou (Sachi's mother). The Bhuyan trait is hard to suppress.
This picture was taken last month in one of the Mayo clinic hallways. Sachi is checking out Andy Warhol's (original) print making skills. This corridor led from the radiation center to the food-court. We loved walking through it. Sachi is improving at the proverbial turtle's pace but it is slowly adding up. In sleep his face looks relaxed instead of tense with pain. Awake he is slowly taking over parts of the tube feed functions. Yesterday as I was leaving for grocery shopping he walked out to warn me of some gardening tools that he thought might be lying behind my car. Then as I was backing out of the garage he waved me out with a smile. With a smile! Did you hear that. With a smile. While driving to Hy Vee I let out a sigh of relief that I did not know I was holding all these days. I always knew he would get better. Now I know for sure.
This I wanted to share with you. Thank you. . . . . . Ambi.
7 comments:
The positive attitude around your house is always so infectious. Despite everything you have been through the positive attitude of your family is something we can all learn from and appreciate. The beauty of the flowers and trees you have planted will continue to represent your family's positive and fun-loving nature as they grow. You can watch them grow and strengthen along with Sachi as the spring days become warm and sunny.
Happy Spring and Healing!
Heather
Nuabou, we have been offering our opinions and comments on virtually every subject, related or otherwise, but don't have the faintest idea about how you have been feeling as an individual during this journey. How many blizzards of insecurity would have shaken your foundation to its very tender roots.....how many horns of dilemma must have tossed you between tradition and rebellion.....how many dark invaders would have intruded on your plans for a rosy future....
Adversities from far and near have risen like a tsunami in your life and swept your feet off the ground without a sane landing in sight....
Torn and battered, wounded and bleeding, you have neither allowed a cry of desperation to escape your lips nor a single step to falter. In stony silence but undaunted determination you have forged ahead in your personal journey of service and sacrifice....
Every update of yours shares information only about Sanabhai's condition, the family or the weather. The volcano of feelings and fears that lie bottled up inside, hidden from the eyes of the prying public, need to find a vent. I sincerely hope and plead that you walk together with your Lifemate into the undiscovered territories of your True Self and allow your feelings to flow out, regardless of whether they erupt or ease out.....Having started the process you would see how resilient my Tarzan is, in not only swallowing the poison, but also lending a strong shoulder to lean on and unload the teary burden of worries and apprehensions that have been torturing you for an eternity....
A fulfilling journey in friendship and mutual support is what marriage is all about.........
Forgive me for talking beyond my shoes, but when we sit in conference as a family and realize that a couple of its favorite members are struggling to emerge from the abyss of suffering, it is difficult indeed to stay within limits and abide by convention.....Being the youngest one in the family also entitles me to the right of love and liberty of concern.
Pranams & Prayers.
Babi
PS. As usual, your updates are so full of life and beauty of expression that every word touches the reader with its depth of feeling and escorts him on a virtual tour of your house and heart....
The glimpse of a brighter day is already playing on Sanabhai's parched lips, and the song in your heart is already sounding a distant trumpet that rings in our ears, continents away. May God bless you all with what you so richly deserve and have so gracefully earned: A life of joy, health and fulfillment.......
Dearest Ambi Main,
Pranam.Thanks for your beautiful mail on the week's events and Sati Mamu's gradual recovery..We both were really happy to read you cheerful and positive mail..it's so nice to know that you are slowly getting back to your normal daily chores..buying groceries, fruit trees and flower plants for your garden and planting them with the help of your two Russian muscle men.. :)
With the onset of spring and more days like yesterday..sunny, warm, and clear skies..your lives will also grow to be brighter, cheerful and happier with each passing day..Sati Mamu already looks really bright and fresh in the picture taken at your home after his return from St.Elizabeth..despite all the weight loss and aggressive treatment..We both are really glad to know that he has started to step out to the garden and has taken over parts of his feed functions when awake.
Main..not only you, we all also let out a sigh of relief knowing that our dearest Mamu is getting better and smiling again..wish I was there to see that smile on his face..though he is currently improving at the proverbial turtle pace..but as the proverb goes "Slow and steady wins the race" and we all are positive and sure our beloved and strongest Mamu will definitely win the race with flying colors..Main thanks again for sharing yourself with us and making us feel a part of your family.
Take care and Keep smiling always,
Pranam & Prayers,
Love always,
Leema & Achintya.
keep on smiling... one of my favorite terms of greeting or i should say signatures when signing off emails. i think i replaced that with "love" in my posts here, but the most recent blog really gives new meaning to it...
we're sighing with relief with you bodoma :)
lots of love,
pranams,
vivek
Dear Bada dada,
It's been ages since I have been able to access this blog site regularly and write to you. Initially my laptop wasn't behaving itself and then somehow or the other, either my comment wouldn't go through or if it did, not the way I wanted it to and I'd have to delete it. I hope I have better luck today.
Anyway, I have been keeping myself updated about your health with Baba's help. Those were some really really scary days last week. I was so alarmed at the turn of events and your hopitalisation, just when we had started feeling good about the 6weeks being almost over and thinking of you back home recovering. It must have been so hard for both of you. Hats off to Khudi for the way she took charge of the situation and took care of you. Although still busy, it must be easier for her to manage things in Lincoln, than from a hotel room in a different city.
I wish and pray your pain keeps going down - it is so hard to think of you in so much pain and discomfort. Khudi's entry today is a ray of hope, though, and makes us feel better about your recovery. The warmth of home and the presence of all the family and friends in Lincoln will help you along your way to the level of health and fitness that you are used to enjoying.
You can't begin to imagine how much I admire you and the way you have dealt with this crisis. We all are learning so much from you.
All the best, Bada dada. Take care and get strong!
Love & prayers,
Pinky
......I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
~William Wordsworth in 'Daffodils'~
Just like the 'Daffodils', the love, warmth and good wishes of your family and friends, we hope, will always bring you pleasure and make your difficult journey perhaps a wee bit easier.
Like the rest of the family we pray for you and hope to see our 'Veer' back in action.
Love always,
Seema and Sandeep
Marriages, they say, are made in heaven.
But marital bliss is something you discover and rediscover,
create and re-create, cherish and treasure,
As you walk together, hand in hand, heart in heart,
Through the vicissitudes of life......
Sanabhai and Nuabou, your marriage was a foregone conclusion the day Providence brought you face to face with each other. Both of you, though members of the scientific world by profession, are truly artists at heart and by hobby. The artist in both of you has served to bring out the subtle qualities of human goodness to combine with the analytical approach of a scientist to produce individuals of epic radiance within and formidable strength without. While you realize the inevitability of pain and suffering as necessary price to be borne before you complete the journey from diagnosis to cure, you do not however, waste time on regret and remorse. Instead, you utilize every available moment in welcoming whatever life has to offer and make of it a dish that boasts beauty as well as substance...
Whether it is an emergency that needs to be attended to without delay or default, or a canvas that calls for the unraveling of vision and unleashing of color....whether it involves heeding your every need of physical discomfort, or adding lustre to your home garden by installing new breathing members of silent splendor, whether it requires you to take split second decisions of medical necessity or to allow yourself the emotional elixir of watching your little ones indulge in innocent playfulness..... you both have not only excelled at each of these endeavors and many more, you have also set examples of physical endurance and spiritual supremacy that shall stand unrivaled and unparalleled by mortals of ordinary essence. Though Nuabou has succeeded in combining her numerous physical preoccupations with her innate call for expression of artistic manifestation, you, Sanabhai have probably not yet yielded to the sleeping artist in you. Maybe the emergent demands of your present condition have not allowed you the luxury of expression on the sketch board, but a little effort in that direction would, I'm sure, take you miles on the path to total recovery.
When Art and the Artist mingle in a work that springs from the inner depths of feeling, what results is sheer magic that enables the spirit to soar to the ecstatic heavens of near-perfection close to His abode..
Pranams & Prayers
Babi
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