Day Five

It is too late in the night to come up with a catchy title so 'literal' will have to do. Sachi is still going strong. He takes a few short naps during the day and has become a picky eater for the first time in his life but is still able to join in most of the activities. We met with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Garces, today. She is a charming, energetic and interseted person that makes us feel we are the only clients she has. Her smile alone is encouraging; her declaration that Sachi is doing very well has doubled our hopes. Ofcourse, Sachi is such a shameless optimist that a plain sunny day is proof to him that the world will be OK.

We are slowly settling down in our hotel suite. It reminds us of our first attempt at nesting. The enthusiasm is a little bit less and experience a little bit more. Every day it is getting more and more comfortable.

My dad often says thet God has great sense of humor. He blesses us either with money or the time to enjoy it; never both together. For a short time Sachi and I are beating the odds. Visits from family are icing on the cake. Today bhai and Vivek came over from Chicago to spend the weekend with us. Hopefully Sachi will continue to feel well so we can cram in a lot of family time.

Thanks again for checking in on us and taking the time to connect. We regularly log on and read your messages.

Ambi

Day Three

Three radiation sessions are over. Twenty-seven more to go. Sachi is feeling well till now. He has slight sore throat and the timbre of his voice has changed but his energy levels are good. His appetite is slightly decreased so he ate only the choicest foods today.

We did some grocery shopping in the afternoon and then sat in the room literally 'channel surfing' ( and watched a movie- Charlie Wilson's War ). I have started an acrylic painting of a group of cranes dancing against the backdrop of falling snow. It is very clear in my mind. Lets see how it turns out on canvas.

The hotel suite is comfortable. We still look out into a multistoried garage but this time we are a few floors higher so less boxed in. The cold is not as severe as when we came here for Sachi's surgery. By the way, Sachi's scar is healing very well. He still has stiffness in the neck and some weakness in the left shoulder but this is expected. He does exercises daily to improve function.

The kids seem to be doing OK without us. We miss them very much. Hope Mithu (our macaw)is alright. Soon the first buds of Crocus will be peeking through the snow near our front door. We will miss that show but will be home to see the Tulips emerge. It is at the same time lonely and cozy to be in this small hotel suite. We are thankful for this electronic communication. all your support means the world to us.

Ambi

SHOW TIME FOLKS---C'MON JOIN IN

Yesterday Feb24th we arrived at Rochester about the same time my bhai ( older brother from India) and my nephew Vivek ( Babi's son ) from Chicago arrived. My treatment , both Radiation & chemotherapy started today with Ambi, bhai & Vivek by my side, bonding more than ever, very touching indeed. Recently I have had brief , passing worry regading my upcoming treatment. I snapped out of it real quick since that is so much against my current belief that I am trying daily to practice & live by. Having left all events & their outcomes in the hands of a power greater than myself ( who I choose to call God), it is such a waste of time to spend on worrying about something I have no control on. Trying to live one day at a time, I always remember the poem written by Kalidas, an Indian poet from 4th century AD. He wrote:
Look to this day, for it is life, the very life of life,
In it's brief course lie all the realities & varieties of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action, and
The glory of power-
For yesterday is but a dream,And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
This site has become an important event in our everyday's schedule. It is an unique combination of love, concern, emotion, compassion, hope, spirituality & even some humor. I am not used to so much so soon, hence these are sometimes overwhelming & bring out certain emotions in me that I was unaware of. Overall I am enjoying all the attention ! ( haha). Ambi ofcourse heads the list. With her relentless efforts she has all my lost wt. regained ! Only one thing that often bothers me is - how much more grief so many people around me are going through than I am myself. I appeal to you all, please do yourself a favor- put an end to tears & move along with life as usual . It is unfair to yourself & others around you if you keep agonizing in the pains that have passed or that may ( or maynot) occur in future. I am sure even the Gods will not want that. See , living a day at a time can be so easy & practical. I hope you will give a serious thought.
My treatment is one day less than six weeks. Today was excellent. We had a very full , delicious dinner at a local Indian restaurant & plan to see a movie tomorrow night. Untill side effects appear, we plan enjoying our days with eachother & our family members who plan to visit from time to time. I have been prescribed several medicines for potential side effects. We will try to deal with them when they happen. The chemotherapy will be once a week , & radiotherapy daily Monday thru Friday for six weeks.I invite all of you to continue participating & maintaining such an unique atmosphere which is strengthening our bonds, drawing us progressively closer. I thank God for such an oppertunity.
Let's pray together for:
Granting peace, serenity & happiness to mankind.
Knowledge of His will for us & power to carry that out.
Relieving our bondage of self , so that we may better do His will.
Because ultimately Thy will (not our) be done.
Untill next time , all of you- take care. We love you all more than you know.
SACHI.

New beginnings...

Dear Mom and Baba,

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end (not my own words, plagerized from a song!), so as you drive to Rochester I am thinking of the beginning of your treatment, the beginning of your newer stronger health, and the end of your cancer. Just for inspiration and because I love showing you two off, thought you and everyone else might like to see how it all began in the attached photo. Love you both and Jeff and I are wishing you a strong start to your new beginning.

Jeff and Jyoti

A Week At Home

We have so enjoyed the time at home with kids and friends. Done some cooking and cleaning, paid many bills and in general organised home for 6 to 8 weeks absence. Suraj and Ravi promise to pick up after themselves during this time.

Sachi was a very easy and willing member to have at home. He is not only independant but also pitched in the house work. He was shocked to find out how much work is involved in running a home. During the week he has continued to gain his strength and appetite back and is looking decidedly better.

The kids have been spending almost all the free time at home. We are getting seperation anxiety at having to leave them. Packing for Rochester is going on. We said temporary good bye to many friends who came to visit. So many good wishes, so many prayers (not to mention the food) and such strong support through the blog.....we feel truly blessed. Tomorrow we hope to start from home around noon and reach Rochester around seven in the evening.

Ambi

God gives burdens; Shoulders too....Jewish proverb.

We are pleasantly overwhelmed by the messages of encouragement. Thank you all. The journey will be easier together. Sachi had a dental appointment today. The radiation can wreck havoc on teeth so the doctors wanted Sachi to get his annual cleaning and general checkup done now. He goes back one more time on Thursday.

My sister Babli will come from New Delhi and stay with the boys for a month from March 15th. onwards. Jeff and Jyoti will hold the fort until then. We are slowly beginning to pack for Rochester. Some friends are cooking and freezing food for us to take to the hotel. Things are seeming manageable at this point.

Jyoti and Jeff will come to see us again on Thursday. Suraj and Ravi are home everyday. It is nice to see them this often. They have had to grow up in a hurry the past month. Hopefully they can return to worry free days again and leave us to complain about them.

Ambi

Jyoti and Jeff write

Hello to all from Sachi and Ambi's daughter (and favorite child!!) and son-in-law. We have been enjoying mom and baba's blog as much as everyone else. I never thought I'd see the day when they would be on-line and checking emails so often, much less able to even turn the computer on. We call from Omaha almost every day, but it has been really fun reading their blog entries. Of course nothing beats being home and seeing everyone in person. Our dog Wailea, would also agree, mom's kebab's and chicken korma are her favorite.
When all of us are home together, the house is usually filled with laughter, and in that respect, nothing much has changed. Most often you will find all of us squeezed together on the family room couches either watching a movie or complaining about all the news that mom wants to watch.
Next weekend mom and baba will leave for Rochester, and all of a sudden I feel like I did when I was little, grabbing onto his leg begging him not to go to the hospital. We will miss them so much, and every time we think of baba in pain our heart breaks a little. But he is the strongest person we know and it is impossible for his spirit and positive attitude not to rub off on us. We are already making plans for the summer and can't wait to have baba back home. When they arrived back in Lincoln on Friday, baba said 'back to "the good life" ', the Nebraska state motto. For all of us, the good life is having mom and baba back home. :)

Arrived back in Lincon.

Hello again everyone

I have been closely following Ambi's messages and your responses. I indeed feel very previleged to have so many friends & family members with caring concerns of unique proportions. We returned to Lincoln today Feb.15th. after a long series of testings & consultations. Everything seems to be progressing very well . Chemo. & Rad. therapy will start Feb.25th.-will last for six weeks.

In the mean time I have been advised to "stuff" myself with high calorie food to make up for the wt.loss & have some extra for future wt. loss during the six weeks therapy. Butter, cream, shakes & all kinds of sweets one can imagine. I am having a blast. Those of you who know Ambi can sure imagine her chasing me around with overfilled plates in both hands. I am truly enjoying her exceptional cooking skills & styles.

Ambi & I are enjoying each other's company very much. In over 33 years! of marriage this is the first time we are getting so much time to ourselves. This illness will gradually pass & may leave a few scars, but all the other things happening around it will be cherished and remembered as blessings.

With my recent learning & applying certain spiritual principles to my daily living, trying to develop faith & leaving outcome of all my efforts to a power greater than myself (whom I choose to call God) have given me more serenity, peace & strength than I ever knew possible. For me that is true blessing.

After having spent my whole life as a health care provider now I am on the receiving end. I am quickly learning to develop patience, tolerance & faith in another person to take care of me. In the process I have developed more respect for patients' pains, fears, frustrations ,anger & feeling of helplessness (which often is not appreciated enough).

This note got a little longer than I intended. Thanks for your patience & keep the communication going. I am starting to really like it.

So all of you take care & may God bless you all. Good night to those in USA & good day to those in India & Bangkok.

Sachi.

Happy Valentine's Day

Our lap top is dead. I am sitting in the common room and posting this. Yesterday was tiring. Many tests, some of them painful, spread over the whole day so we had to make many trips back and forth. The path connecting hotel and Mayo not all that short. Sachi sure got his walking exercise. Last night he slept more than other days but broke into a sweat 2-3 times and had to change shirt. Today in a few hours we will meet the surgeon and find out some answers. We like the communication back from you. Sachi always makes it a point to read all the comments. We remember you all very much. Have a happy Valentine's day. Love.

Ambi

Arrived at Mayo

We have arrived here safe and sound but little later than planned. We forgot to call Jyoti and Jeff and were duly taken to task by them. Now we know at what age parents and children switch roles. The weather was cold but clear, and comfortable from the security of a well heated car. Lunch was at a drive through Macdonald's and dinner was with left overs. Our suite at the residence inn is fairly decent but we look straight out into a multi-storied parking garage. Sachi is sleeping and I am watching a National Geographic program on TV. The trip here has tired Sachi and he is mildly annoyed. He has promised himself to start exercising (like walking etc.) from tomorrow. We have an appointment for a pet scan early in the morning. Mayo is accessible from the hotel via an underground path so we won't complain about the 2 to 4 inches of snow expected during the day. Good night and Good Morning to our family in India.

Ambi

Wonderful weekend

We had a great weekend. Naren and Vivek (Sachi's Nephews) came to visit us from Chicago. Jyoti and Jeff came from Omaha. Suraj and Ravi are home already. They filled the house with their laughter and energy. Thank goodmess for kids.

Some of our friends from Lincoln and Omaha came to see Sachi and were pleased to find him looking so fresh and in such good spirits. Our family in India and USA is keeping in touch with us through phone. It is a wonderful support system and we are eternally greatful for all of you.

Saturday we participated in the Democratic Caucus. I was with the Hillary crowd. Sachi went for Obama. As you all know by now, Sachi won.

Sachi is increasingly able to eat more and more food. He has not gained any weight but he has not lost any either. Actually, I think he looks quite handsome like this.

Tomorrow we start packing for our trip to Mayo on Tuesday. Lets hope for good weather.

Ambi

Sachi Writes

To Family & Friends
Hello everyone.Welcome to our brand new site . We have started this for ongoing conversation with all of you in the next few months & provide update regarding Sachi`s health during his cancer treatment.
In early Dec'07_ Sachi detected a small lump on left upper neck with no symptom.A few weeks later biopsy of this nodule & then of tonsil both indicated Cancer. We went to Mayo clinic for treatment.Tonsilectomy with radical neck dissection( 8hr surgery) was done by a very reputable surgeon on Jan.22nd.Sachi was dismissed seven days later with no complication.Due to severe pain in the throat & swallowing difficulty eating has not been easy causing 15lb wt. loss. This causes a lot of tiredness & fatigue.Recently a small patch of pneumonia required 2days hospitalization at St.Eliz. hospital, on Feb 3rd.
We will be at Mayo clinic Feb.13th. till 15th. for some testings & followup chk. We will go back ten days later for chemo. & radiation therapy for six weeks starting Feb25th.Staying at a nearby hotel with subway connection will be convenient.Any new development will appear at this site from time to time.
Thanks for sharing your time with us. That means a lot to us. We feel very blessed to have so many friends & family members caring for our wellbeing & keeping us in your prayers.
May God bless you all.
Ambi & Sachi.